A couple mornings ago I opened up the fridge to get breakfast ready and noticed that Kate's Disney princess sandwich container was in the back. Curious about what I put in there and forgot about, I took it out to inspect. When I opened it up I found a half-eaten valentine's heart lollipop, 4 pieces of shriveled-up edamame, a few grapes, and some various pieces of crust from old sandwiches. Standing there with Carter Caroline on one hip, Kate asking for breakfast, and my eyes not even quite open yet, I just had to bust out laughing. Kate has clearly been taking morsels of food that she has not finished from her meals, putting them in tupperware, and storing them away in the back of the fridge. ...Not the most exciting story (my apologies if you are actually reading), but something I want to remember because it just sums up Kate's presence around here these days. Moments like these are happening all the time, when I realize that our little three-year old is trying to figure things out on her own and is so desperate to be independent. That little plastic container of old morsels instantly gave me an image of Kate - while I was likely tied up with Carter or on the phone or somehow unavailable - pulling a chair from the table over to the cabinet, climbing up on top, looking through the cabinet for the special princess tupperware container, tucking away the 4 grapes that she did not want to finish, tugging away at the fridge until it opened, and moving things out of the way until she found a good spot for her leftovers... totally pleased with herself that she wrapped up the meal on her own.

Our little preschooler has been walking the line between independence and dependence for a while. In so many ways she is desperate to be independent and accomplishing everything solo, and in the next minute she is doing baby talk and asking me to pick her up. I have really been hanging back lately and letting Kate work things out for herself... at least, I've been trying. No one has ever accused me of being patient and I am trying to not jump in when Kate is trying to figure out her shoes or is stopping to notice every detail on the way to the car! She is really becoming a little person all her own, but this week her teacher called from school while I was out and said that Kate was feeling sick and asking for her mommy to come pick her up. Of course I was driving like a bat to get to her school and was happy to rush in and scoop her right up. That is pretty peachy, too. I guess we are all caught in the middle somewhere. =)

Watching her from a distance as she tries to figure things out and take care of herself makes my heart flutter with joy and ache all at the same time... when I peek around the corner and see her concentrating so hard on getting her own toothpaste out of the cabinet, or wait in the driver's seat while she tries to buckle her own carseat, or see her taking charge of her own space and managing her own daily routine, my heart melts with how hard she is trying and how fast she is growing up! I am just so thankful that I get to be here to live in the moment with my gals, and I pray that I would always be thankful, even when we are having a 20+ diaper day, when Carter is putting everything in sight in her mouth and screaming for attention, and Kate refuses to wear shoes and will only answer to "Dora."

Little Miss Independent is also done with napping, so we have given her the option of "room time" instead, and she just plays in her room by herself for a couple hours. It gives her time to decompress - which she really needs - and it gives our days the structure that is so good for everyone. (Including mommy!) The only thing is, most days she is still wiped out and needs to sleep. So when she feels drowsy, she has started getting herself ready for a nap: she climbs up on a chair and gets PJs out of her top drawer, puts on a Pull-Up and then pretty much falls asleep in the middle of play. I never know what to expect and often find her sprawled out in the middle of the floor on top of toys fast asleep, dressed like Tinkerbell and snoring on a pile of toys in bed, or sometimes curled up in her blue chair. I walked into her room last week and she was naked, putting on a Pull-Up and some different clothes. "I forgot to wear a Pull-Up for my nap, and I had a little accident. But it's ok, Mommy, it happens."